Happy Birthday, Mom!
I have come to realize that there are things in life that words truly cannot express. Maybe the correct lingo hasn’t been invented yet, maybe such words will never exist. Maybe some things, some feelings and emotions, are simply too horrific to summarize in a single word. Maybe we just don’t want to talk about them in the first place.
I don’t think we’ll ever be able to adequately explain the pain of losing a child, of having your heart broken - or in my case, the death of a parent. It has been nearly 2 years since my mother passed, and yet, it’s still incredibly difficult for me to talk about. My grief hasn’t lightened with time, it has only gotten easier to mask.
It peeves me when I hear people express their parent’s demise in terms of, “She lived a long life”, or, “He achieved many great things!”. The some-what lyrical wisp in their voice makes me want to vomit. What’s even worse are the people that downplay the loss or expect a speedy-recovery. Here’s a piece of advice, if you’re lucky enough to have never lost someone dear to your heart, you cannot understand what people not as fortunate as yourself feel - never. I can almost guarantee that your advice isn’t wanted.
Today, Mary West Hunt would have been 84 years old; she was my mother. My pain is deep and unexplainable. However, my mother was an incredibly strong woman who took life’s struggles with stride and elegance. As a tribute to the woman that raised me, I will not lay my sadness and grief out on the page. Instead, I will celebrate my mother and the brave women around the world that work tirelessly in order to provide the very best life possible for their children.
To the wonderful, brave, inspiring mothers and fathers, who have shared such raw, emotional stories: thank you. We have learned so much from you and salute you for giving us a glimpse into the intimate parts of your lives and letting us know that we’re not alone.
For mothers like mine who adopted children that weren’t wanted: there may not be a strict cellular connection between you and your child, but your heart will forever be a part of them. It does not matter who gave birth, not for one second.
Finally, for all the mom’s who have left us. You are not forgotten. You are loved, you are celebrated, and you are missed - you are missed so very much! Again, I cannot find the words to describe how much respect I have for each and every one of you.
Rest soundly, my beautiful mom. I know you did the best you could. I know you loved me, and I thank you for trusting me with what was most precious to you. I hope you have seen the boys. I will never let them forget you! Happy Birthday, Mary West Hunt. You’ll always be remembered for the real badass you were!
Cheers to all of our parents! Let’s talk on Wednesday, I’ll bring the coffee.