RM-K

The official site of author Ruth McLeod-Kearns

Ruth McLeod-Kearns is an advocate for opiate/heroin overdose, author, creator of the I'll Bring the Coffee blog series and a contributing writer for Things Women Want Freedom of Expression magazines.

Here, you can connect with the author, follow her social media accounts and download the thought-provoking novelettes. As always, she'll bring the coffee.

Happy birthday Satchel!

It was 17 years ago today when I had you. I was so young, as was your dad, but we didn’t know it. It is unfortunate that you won’t understand the beauty of youth until it is so far gone. A mere speck in your rearview mirror, and yet it is so important that you get it right. You are doing just that, and I am so proud of you! Dad, Katie, and I think you are the gift of our lives. Thank you honey for being a diamond in this pile of dirt we find ourselves sometimes. If you knew how many times you have pulled me through with a letter that had a heart and crooked crayon letters. Those are gold to me, you are the proof I have been seeking to see a heaven.

Here is what I love about you. I love your laugh! It is so full of gusto, it is a rainbow of love. I admire your knowledge of baseball, the loyalty you show a team, you are my summer. It makes me chuckle to hear you playing those games with people all over the world. You are so good, that at 16, you were recruited for a gaming store. That is really a solid statement about your character.

So many ways I feel we are just starting to really get to know each other. On the eve of you leaving home to start your own life. Oh, how will I get through that day? Yet I must because that is how it happens. You will not understand my angst until your youngest is starting to think of his tomorrow that isn’t with you.

Because you were going to be the last child I had, I took a few more minutes to stare at you before saying “hello.” I cemented that feeling of true love at first sight into my heart. I will never forget the moment I realized what it meant. It was the first time our skin touched, the way you looked at me, like we had been together for eternity. You made every moment of my life mean something. I want you to know that. You have defined me in so many ways.

I love how much God means to you. Your prayers are gifts and I remember every one. You are soon to be baptized by your uncle, and that makes me overjoyed that you are choosing this as your life’s light. Your love is genuine, and pure, and I smile every time we speak.

I wish you love and a family that gets through the tough times together. I hope I have given you the tools to do that. I have never been a perfect mom, nor is it possible for anybody to obtain such status. Just know that I have always tried my best. I would give you the stars, the moon, and a blast of heaven if I could, because that is what it feels like being your mom. You have made me whole, with just your presence, thank you son. I love you more every day. I wish you everything good, a million laughs and the feeling of holding your own child’s hand one day. It is when you just know that life is worth it. Happy Birthday Satchel! I couldn’t love you more. Mom

 

 

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*Center for Disease Control and Prevention, "Understanding the Epidemic: Drug overdose deaths continued to increase in 2015", 12/16/16